In Amsterdam Oost at Sara Guia’s home

A year ago, I met Sara during a meeting organised by the Facebook group of Expat bloggers in The Netherlands. We started to follow each other on Instagram and this “virtual” friendship became a real life one. There are many things that I admire and love in Sara. I could start with her work, a beautiful representation of her vivid and creative spirit, I could go on with her kind and sensitive soul and continue with her terrific sense of humour. But let’s give the words to Sara. Enjoy!

Can you introduce yourself and tell more about you?
-I am a 33-year-old multi-potentialite at heart from the most beautiful city in the world: Lisbon, Portugal.
Currently, I am a fibre artist, a balfolk dance teacher and a Portuguese translator.
I hate pineapple and I love all things peppermint.
I have anxiety and I took bagpipe and accordion lessons some years ago. I am a wife, a sister, a granddaughter, a daughter and a super proud stepmother and aunt.

How did you end up in The Netherlands and in Amsterdam?
-After a long time struggling to make ends meet each month, even though both my husband and I had tons of work, we decided we had to leave our country and try our luck somewhere else. We wanted somewhere not so far away from our Portugal (because my husband has a nine years old daughter living there), where the language would not be a barrier (pretty much everyone speaks English here), where we already had friends so we wouldn’t feel totally alone while settling in and, most of all, where our working skills would be useful and valued like they weren’t before.
My love affair with Amsterdam began a couple of years ago, as every time I visited my friends here I would leave with the feeling that I somehow belonged in this place. So, when the time to decide a place to go arrived, it was a pretty easy choice!

Has your vision of Portugal changed since you live here?
-I wasn’t expecting it to be in a positive way, but yes. You know, Portuguese are always undermining their worth, so I too was a part of this cultural trade. Until I arrived in a different culture and realized we are much more hard-working, resilient, polite and educated than we think – or we make others think of us, for that matter. The ‘expat’ experience also made me much more proud of my country and culture: I had to distance myself from it to really appreciate our natural beauty, our history, our artists even.
On other aspects, I also realized deeper we still have a long way to go in terms of social rights, beliefs and mentalities, working policies, etc.

Is the place of women in the Portuguese society different from in The Netherlands? 
-Yes, very much so. I find society to be a bit more equal for men and women here. There are more women in management positions and there is a lot more respect for mothers and their needs. People are rewarded for their abilities, no matter what their gender is. In Portugal, women are still the weakest link, the ones supposed to take care of the children, the house, the chores – while having the extra pressure of having to pursue a career at the same time -,  their opinions are still a little undermined and there’s still all kinds of prejudice towards them. Women are harassed and cat-called every single day and that’s, unfortunately, kinda’ normal. We have a very conservative Catholic background and not so long ago, in the dictatorship (lasting 41 years and ending in 1974) women were not allowed to work, vote, get a divorce, study, live alone, etc. And although things are changing, we are still getting out of this mentality and we still have a long way to go.

As a stepmother what do you find the most challenging and how do you deal with it?

-Let’s get real: loving a child that is not yours biologically is not a ‘natural’ process. It takes time. I do love my stepdaughter to bits but I must be honest and say it was hard at the age of 27 having a fully grown four years old messing with my free agenda, my house, even my beliefs. She made a mother of me and that shook my inner-self: what do I want her to learn from the world, how can I protect her, what examples can I set, how I and my husband’s relationship is impacted? Will I ever want my own kid? I am very lucky because her mother was very accepting of me from day one and my husband is a wonderful person, with whom I can always be honest about what I feel. That made the perfect ground for us to build a solid relationship where we support and understand each other while making sure our daughter’s needs are always taken into account. If we deal with whatever comes as a team, while also being honest with each other, then we can overcome all challenges.

What can you tell us about Julieta and your creative journey?
-Julieta was born out a self-expression necessity. While growing up and until recent years, I was lead to believe – by society norms – not only I was not a creative person AT ALL, but also we all have to choose a specific path and stick to it. All my friends knew from an early age what they wanted to do: an architect, a marine biologist, a lawyer, a mother, a traveler, a singer… But I still don’t know what to choose.
I now know that’s ok. I’m a dancer, a writer sometimes, I was a children’s English teacher for several years, I love wool and all its crafting possibilities, I was an amateur actress, I’ve loved working at the airport, I’ve worked in bookstores, in museums, I’m now working as a translator… the list goes on. To this day, I can’t choose just one single thing out of all of these (and so much more I still want to perceive!).
Julieta was the outlet for all of the things I love: taking pictures, writing, making and selling my fibre art pieces. She is my alter-ego.
My creative journey is a mirror of who I am: all and nothing. Black and white – and all the colours in between. Happy and sometimes sad.
I experiment new techniques, I fail, I try again. I like doing a specific thing for a certain amount of time then, in the next month, I do the exact opposite. If you look at other fibre artists’ work, for instance, they’re much more consistent. But I’m still figuring out who I am. Where do I go next. And I’m at peace with that now.

When you are busy with a new project for Julieta, which part of the whole thing is your favorite?
-Well, I love to have custom-orders, where clients tell me their preferences on colours, shapes and materials because that makes me focus much more. I have a due date and I work hard at it. When I end it, I feel satisfied and a bit proud of my achievement, I admit. But what really drives my guts is when I have a new idea for a piece (crochet or handweaving) and I can’t stop until I’ve planned it, gathered the right materials, researched all the techniques involved and start working. I also love taking pictures of my pieces and I have a mini home studio just for that.

Do you have role models? If yes, who?
-I don’t have role models, I think, but I do admire certain people for specific reasons. First and foremost, my husband: he is the most hard-working, talented and generous person I know. He grew up in a place where opportunities were not at your door but at 15 years old he decided to wake every morning at 5.30am and study in Lisbon, just so he would broaden his horizons: believe me, this is just an example of how he got where he is today. He never stops wanting to learn more and more about – pretty much – everything: coding, design, cooking techniques, electronics, nature, carpentry, aviation, fabrics, dance. He even cuts my hair! Oh yes, I do love him.
My sister-friend Raquel, for courageously raising two beautiful children in a country that doesn’t support motherhood. My friend Catarina Sobral, an awarded illustrator building an admirable career in and outside of Portugal. My parents, for so many different reasons.
But there is one person I really admire and had a deep influence on me: my late grandfather Eduardo. He was a kind, generous, sweet, educated man who loved history books, his work, working in his vegetable garden and always loved me unconditionally. He taught me to love Lisbon and books.
And then there are, of course, a lot of people whom I admire for their work: a couple of my country’s freedom fighters, some fibre artists whom I aspire to reach one day, a bunch of musicians that changed my life, it’s a never ending list.

What always cheers you up when you are down no matter what?
-Balfolk dancing! An impromptu dinner-party with my friends. Camping under the moon. The beach. The beach. Oh, have I said the beach?

Which advice(s) would you give to someone who comes to live here?
-Be truthful to yourself. Embrace Dutch specificities and try not to lose your mind if (no, when) they step in front of you on a queue. Take Vitamin D supplements. Learn the language.

What is your favorite spot in Amsterdam?
-I am still discovering the city and, truth be told, architecture in the Netherlands is not so diverse… I’m kidding.
I love the Jordaan neighbourhood, the east road next to the Amstel river and all the parks, my absolute favorite being Frankendael: not only because it’s five minutes from my door but because it has this wild-nature vibe that makes me feel I’m in the countryside. And I’m super spoiled because I live in a super cool neighbourhood: Watergraafsmeer.

Thank you very much Sara for your time and for sharing with us a bit of your life in The Netherlands. You can find Sara’s photos, work and thoughts on Instagram , Facebook and on her blog

A morning with Lavinia Tanase at Lavinia cakes’n buttons

In The Hague, at the Piet Heinstraat number 103A, there is a cosy pretty place where you can savour a delicious tea while eating a delicate lemon pie, listening jazz and admire the beautiful photos on the wall or read one of the multiple books in the bookshelf. This place is called Lavinia cakes’n buttons . What makes it so unique is not only the decoration, the high quality of what you are served but it is also the atmosphere. It is something difficult to describe but you can feel that you are not in a standard place, you are and you feel like the guest of the house and the woman behind this is Lavinia.  In a previous post I shared with you my experience as a guest at Lavinia cakes ‘n buttons, as I wrote it was beyond expectations, I also discovered her talent for food photography and all in all it made me curious to know Lavinia and her journey better.

Lavinia, how did you end up in The Netherlands?

It was my husband decision to come here, actually he was in love with this country since he was little. He has a special story with The Netherlands. Anyway, I knew since the beginning that if he had the possibility he would come. The possibility never came to us so we came here with all the risks. But somehow because he really loves this country and he was really ready for it, he started to study Dutch before coming here. That made our lives easier, he knew the language, he knew the culture and somehow he was in contact with other Dutch people and he was sure that this was the country where he wanted us to raise our kids. That’s the first reason why we came here, for the kids, for their future.

And what is your personal story before you moved to The Netherlands?

I studied literature and after that during the last year of faculty I had the opportunity to work in television. This is what I did the last fifteen years, I worked for television, I made documentaries, short stories about people places, nice places, interesting people. Most of the time I wrote news and I was doing this palette of things television needs.

And you jump to a completely different situation

Actually it happened after I had the kids, you know. Everything changed and you have to do a lot of new things for your family. I had somehow to give up a bit of myself, in order to find other challenges that fit with the family and what I had to do together with them. Food was the most common and the most easiest way to get involved with them.

But how did you learn how to cook and how to make it look so beautiful? You have to learn those things; if you ask me to do a latte, I will make one to you but not as delicious and good looking as yours.

I think it’s a question of practising and exercising, it’s not about the Latte. For the cakes, those cooking and baking skills have always been in my family . And somehow, suddenly I remembered all my family past, all my childhood when my grand-mother used to bake and cook. Memories of when she used to tell me how to do if I wanted to bake or cook something like this or like that, you know small details and tips that I did not care about. And twenty years after, they came back.  My grand-mother was somehow the engine of the family, she was a tough woman but in the same time very talented. She was the boss, if she said like this, it had to be like this. For example, I remember that every year for my birthday, together with my mother, they prepared something special for me. I always had surprises on the table,  she always used to say “the table is sacred and you have to give it to the next generation”.

So you reproduce it

Yes, but I was never interested in food. This suddenly happened when I realised that I am a mother, I have a family now and I have to take that cultural background of my family and give it to my children, it’s a legacy. And I know that my grand-mother was like, put the things in the right place on the table. Treat the people like you want to be treated, bring them joy, give them happiness through food. Because she said it’s the easiest way, it’s like a magic trick, use it. Make your family and people happy, put good food on the table. 

Do you have something from her here?

Yes, I have a lot of things from her here, there are like talismans. I really feel her presence around all the time. She died four and a half years ago and did not see this place but she is there, she gave me this somehow. I often think of her and wonder if she would like it or if she would be satisfied?

While we were discussing people  came in to drink and eat something and the first thing they said when they entered was kind words about the interior decoration and after you served them they add that the way you put things makes it also so delicate and let’s not mention all the mobiles that pop up and snap everything here!

Maybe it’s something that I have from my family and you know, you always bring your past with you. No matter what, you can’t neglect this. You are you but you have your past with you, your family, your legacy from you family. Of course there are things you have to change but not the nice ones, those small treasures that you take from them you have to give them to other people, to your children, your family. I feel I have been lucky until now because I always did what I wanted to do. Even when I used to work at the television, it happened by accident but I saw there a way to do what I like using images, making stories with images. Here I do the same, I make stories with ingredients but it’s the same thing, it’s the same mechanism. Creating, creating, creating. You use different tools, but in fact all of us we are doing the same.

And what is your next step?

Everybody think that here, it’s a patisserie or a pastry shop or a cake shop but in fact this is just the first level. Actually I want to go with it to the next level and explore the fooding in a cultural way. When you drink a coffee, you don’t only drink a coffee you drink a story. You have to know something about the coffee you drink, you have to know something about the tea you drink, about the cake you eat. Everything you can find on a table has a story and this is what I want to bring to people, the story behind the food.

How do you want to achieve this? Do you have a specific idea?

Yes, I do! I try, but it’s really difficult, to write a research about food in the past, in the Middle Ages and Renaissance and I want to bring that artistic and aesthetic part in the food. Actually, we do the same things but with modern tools and I try to keep it as a permanent line. They used to make beautiful food with stories, with a lot of symbols and this what we do, this is what we have to do in the present. I really believe in the symbolic of the food you eat everyday. It’s not just here, you must go to the top of the pyramid, go there to the signification, to the meaning of food. Food does not only feed your stomach, it feeds also your mind, your soul.

As an entrepreneur what did you find the most challenging when you started this business?

The amount of work. We received the key and I waited three months before opening it, I wanted this place to be exactly like it was in my mind. I’m very emotional and follow my feelings, my emotions come before the rational part.  When I started, I had no doubts and I don’t want to make compromises. If it doesn’t work it’s ok, I’ll close the door and will try to find other solutions for my life. 

What advise would you give to someone who wants to start his/her own business or make a radical change in his/her life?

Well I don’t think I’m the right person to do this. For me an advice is something fixed, with borders and I work with no borders. The only thing I can say is if you want to make something, just do your best to make it work. We dream about a lot of things, we dream about the future, we dream about what we want to do. But, you have to make the step from a dream to the reality and I think this bridge is made with courage, determination, consistency and work. 

I’m afraid to give an advice to someone because I did listen to my inner voice despite all the advices I received and still receive. When you do something according to who you are that brings authenticity. I have my own way, even in the kitchen. There is that line you are supposed to follow step by step but me, I always start somewhere in the middle, then I go here and I go to the end. Somehow for me the chaos creates beauty, somehow I work like this; I don’t use the normal line. So I thought if I do the things I feel, again if I listen to my emotions, it works. Who says what is the normal way? Who says this is right and this isn’t? I do what I like; with this place, I don’t want to make it a business because it’s not about the money, it’s about the pleasure.

But still, it is a business

It’s true, it has to stay up but if it can stay like this without any concession, just the work and the pleasure I have when I’m doing it then I think it’s enough. For someone with a business view this might sound a bit crazy, but my goal is not money, money, money; it’s more about the happiness and pleasure I can give with my food and the exchange I have with the people here. But of course I have to survive and it’s difficult. I use special ingredients, high standard ingredients, for example chocolate that comes from France. I use a special cacao that is not too dark because dark cacao is really burned and it’s not good for your health, and I try to tell people those kind of things because they don’t know it. Cakes I bake come with a part of education, you have to tell people what they are eating, why it’s like this, why it’s not too sweet and to explain a bit the price. 

How do you feel as a woman and a foreign woman here? Have you every been confronted to the fact that you are not Dutch?

No, never. I never felt this; I have friends with different stories but I haven’t bad experiences. I think it’s a question of circumstances. I’ve only nice stories about the way I’ve been received here by Dutch people. I mean, they are open to our story, to my personal story with this place. They let me be who I am, they let me be different and this is really important to me otherwise I can not do what I do everyday. I really feel a positive vibe. Here, I like that Dutch women are very independent, I have the idea that they do what they want and that they have their husband’s support. They are very direct in what they do and what they say, they are open.

As a woman, wife, mother and entrepreneur how do you manage to have a balance in your life?

It’s very difficult but fortunately I have the precious help of my husband. Without him it would be almost impossible to deal with all these challenges, he helps me with a lot of things and we are together. Kids also come here often and people have to understand that we are a family, it’s a family business. 

What inspires you?

Everything, I can see things where there are not! It’s crazy because it’s the same way I worked with images. I used to have a boss who gave me the most difficult tasks and I always came back with something. I guess it’s my gift to see things.

How did you come to photography? And do you have any plan to more develop and promote your photography?

Photography is connected with images and I worked a lot with camera , I used to frame everything in my daily life. By framing you create a story in that frame. In the future, the plan is to have a book,  not only with pictures but again with a story behind the pictures.  And of course, pictures with food! 

Is there a book or film that has a special place in your heart?

I like the movie Chocolat a lot, I first read the book and then saw the movie. Juliette Binoche is truly amazing in that film. Furthermore,  I like books about history of food and I always have one with me.

Do you have a motto?

It’s a common one but it’s about try, try, try and never give up. And, be yourself, it’s difficult to be yourself in this world because we have rules, we have specific lines we have to follow but just try to be who you are and I don’t think you will fail.

A huge thank you to Lavinia for her warm welcome and time. I hope you enjoyed reading this interview and I encourage you to go to The Hague to meet the chef herself and her magic treats and/or visit her Facebook page or Instagram account to savour her photos.

May you all have a beautiful day,

Carole

All rights reserved Carole Rey

Women in The Netherlands

Women in The Netherlands is a new category in this blog, it is something that was in my head for about a year; interviewing women from different cultures, backgrounds, lives but who all live in The Netherlands. For many reasons it did not become concrete until I met Lavinia. When I met her, as I mentioned it in my post about Lavinia cakes’n buttons, it felt right away good and I was curious to know more about her and discover her journey. Perfect occasion to start this project. Right time, right place, right person. Oh joy!

You might wondering why? Well, during my childhood, I have been surrounded by women, strong women, and each of them told me and taught me in their own words and own specific way to be strong and independent, to not give up and be patient, to be kind and polite, to look up and not down and no matter what to stay elegant.

Although (south of) France is only a few thousand kilometers away from The Netherlands, differences between those two countries can be big. For example, one of the questions that surprised me the most when I started to work was: “how many hours/days per week do you work?” And I thought, wtf?? As a freelancer this question was not really relevant for me and as a French lady even less because in France either you work fulltime either you don’t. There is no “polder” zone in between. When I became a mother and furthermore when my first one was in age to go to primary school, the question of how many days/hours became clearer in my mind. When in France school finishes at 16.30 and every school offers the possibility to keep the children a bit longer, which allows women to work fully and make eight hours work a day, in Holland it’s quite different. Kids are free around 14.30/15.30 and then start the sacred moment of “playdates”. So either you have a super nanny (and a fat purse) or family on which you can rely, either well, you cut down the hours. I have to say that though at the beginning of my life here I thought that this system was an insult to the freedom and development of the women, I made peace with it and actually learned to enjoy those special moments and I feel blessed and grateful to be home at 14.30 when kids arrive from school. But this is an other story… And here, I don’t want to talk about myself but I want to hear and share others women stories. What do they do in their life? What motivates them? How do they manage to find a balance in their life and be able to be a woman, a working woman and for some of them a wife and/or a mother? What is it to be a woman in The Netherlands in the XXIe century? Lavinia answered the first to all of those questions and hopefully many others will follow.

Last but not least,I would like to dedicate this part of my blog to the special women who gave me a hand when I was down, encouraged me in doubts, shared my laughs and cries and most of all inspired me with their strength and vision of life.

Love,

Carole

In loving memories of  my dear great-great aunt Rose, my great-aunt Marie-Louise, my paternal grand-mother, and of course a special thought to my very alive, lovely, funny, surprising and very stubborn mother. Love you all!

All rights reserved Carole Rey